Azola’s friends welcomed him to fatherhood with a surprise baby shower, called a nappy braai. Instead of the chilled Saturday barbecue he was expecting, they handed him a beer and an adult nappy and told him to suit up.

Azola thinks it’s important to mark milestones. When he was born in South Africa in 1990, the country was just emerging from apartheid. Families didn’t talk openly about their hopes and dreams because life was so uncertain, so he wants to be intentional about celebrating big moments in his children’s lives.

He tells Namulanta how he founded an organisation called Black Dads Unplugged – with the motto “active fatherhood is the new black”. They are part of a new generation of South African dads trying to do things differently.

Letter writer: Azola Dear Daughter is an award-winning podcast from the BBC World Service about love, life, family, and raising children. It is the brainchild of Namulanta Kombo, a mother on a quest to create a ‘handbook to life’ for her daughter, through the advice of parents from all over the world. Each episode, a guest reads a letter they’ve written to their children (or their future children, or the children they never had) with the advice, life lessons, and personal stories they’d like to pass on. Expect extraordinary true stories, inspirational advice for parents, and moving accounts of families, relationships and raising daughters. Share your letter! What do you want to say to your kids? Or the next generation? Do you have thoughts on motherhood, fatherhood, or parenthood to share? Whether you are a mum or mom, dad or papa, grandparent, uncle, aunt, daughter, son or just want to write a letter, send us a Whatsapp message on +44 800 030 4404 or visit https://www.bbcworldservice.com/deardaughter

Listener Julia writes a letter to her future daughter with some advice from her own life: if a man ever hits you, walk away the first time. When her ex-boyfriend slapped her in the face, he said he was sorry and he would never do it again. But then things started getting worse. She tells Namulanta how she finally got out of her abusive relationship and rebuilt her life – and what she wants other people in similar situations to know. Plus, she advises other people on what they can do if they suspect someone they love is experiencing domestic violence.

Letter writer: Julia Dear Daughter is an award-winning podcast from the BBC World Service about love, life, family, and raising children. It is the brainchild of Namulanta Kombo, a mother on a quest to create a ‘handbook to life’ for her daughter, through the advice of parents from all over the world. Each episode, a guest reads a letter they’ve written to their children (or their future children, or the children they never had) with the advice, life lessons, and personal stories they’d like to pass on. Expect extraordinary true stories, inspirational advice for parents, and moving accounts of families, relationships and raising daughters. Share your letter! What do you want to say to your kids? Or the next generation? Do you have thoughts on motherhood, fatherhood, or parenthood to share? Whether you are a mum or mom, dad or papa, grandparent, uncle, aunt, daughter, son or just want to write a letter, send us a WhatsApp message on +44 800 030 4404 or visit https://www.bbcworldservice.com/deardaughter

Malaka’s written her first book – it’s a romance novel with a lot of sex scenes. How will her family react?

Malaka Grant published her first romance novel in 2013 – she’d been writing about sex and romance under a pseudonym for years, but she’d decided to come out of the shadows. She writes a letter to her daughters about what happened when her father in law brought her book out at Christmas brunch.

Malaka runs a blog and podcast called Adventures from the Bedrooms of African Women with Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah. It’s a space for Africa women to write about their experiences of sex and sexuality. She shares some advice for aspiring writers on staying true to their own voice.

But Malaka’s husband is a pastor. She tells Namulanta how they balance their different approaches to life while staying on the same path.

Letter writer: Malaka

This episode contains adult themes.

Dear Daughter is an award-winning podcast from the BBC World Service about love, life, family, and raising children. It is the brainchild of Namulanta Kombo, a mother on a quest to create a ‘handbook to life’ for her daughter, through the advice of parents from all over the world.

Each episode, a guest reads a letter they’ve written to their children (or their future children, or the children they never had) with the advice, life lessons, and personal stories they’d like to pass on.

Expect extraordinary true stories, inspirational advice for parents, and moving accounts of families, relationships and raising daughters.

Share your letter! What do you want to say to your kids? Or the next generation? Do you have thoughts on motherhood, fatherhood, or parenthood to share? Whether you are a mum or mom, dad or papa, grandparent, uncle, aunt, daughter, son or just want to write a letter, send us a WhatsApp message on +44 800 030 4404 or visit https://www.bbcworldservice.com/deardaughter